An Animal In The Bed

So, as most of you are probably aware, when you break up with someone, there are a few practical matters that one must deal with. One of the biggies is: "What do I now do with all this room in my bed"?
It's been almost 4 months since I broke up with Jack, and during this time, I've had to experiment with different ways of dealing with the extra space. At first, I put a pillow lengthways next to me, blocking out "his" side of the bed. Like a "do not enter" sign - going to the other side was too dangerous to contemplate. This was also handy, as it doubled as a substitute body also. If I slept on my side and draped my arm across the pillow, I could almost imagine I was nuzzled into his arm pit and had my arm draped across his chest...
I then realised this wasn't healthy and I needed to confront this conundrum. So, I slept diagonally - almost willing myself to utilise the the space, like, "Yeah, I really needed a queen size bed all to myself, I don't know how I dealt with having so much room taken up by an extra body". This was actually working quite well until the cat realised what was going on. All of a sudden, the cat and I were fighting over a queen size bed like it was a vacant block of land in Sydney priced under half a million dollars. I know what your thinking - it's a cat, how hard can it be, right? You haven't met my cat. She's big. Not like, panther big, but like, 7kg domestic cat big (now, before you go calling the RSPCA to report me on overfeeding my cat, I can assure you her vet has confirmed she is not overweight, just big) . She is also a princess and used to getting whatever she wants (ok, my fault really...mental note, do not substitute cute fluffy animals for children and then spoil them because they are your only child). So, now that Jack has gone, she has suddenly realised that she no longer needs to be delegated to the end corner of the bed near my feet, and that she can now sleep next to me (near my chest), where it's cozy and warm. I actually don't have a problem with this when we go to bed, because she curls up all cute like and purrs close to my ear. It's kind of snugly actually. What I have a problem with, is when she wakes me at 2am, because she's realised that rather than sleeping in a cute little ball, she wants to stretch out lengthways. Back legs down, front legs outstretched over head. What's the problem you ask? She doesn't do this in a top-of-the-bed to bottom-of-the-bed fashion, she does it perpendicular - across the bed. That's close to a meter of 7kgt cat, monopolising my bed!
I think I'll be delegated to the bottom corner of the bed soon.
Joni lied. The bed is not too big and the frying pan...well, it is a little wide....