Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Cookie Vs Cake

So, those of you that regularly follow Miss Diarist's antics, should by now have a good idea of the concept of cake. However, I would like to further the conversation and perhaps even invite further comments.

As MD recently blogged, we did need to have the discussion of "if cake is sex, what is kissing?" And we decided that a cookie would be the appropriate euphemism. This in turn made my "Pash Pal" the "The Cookie Monster".
However, the conversation didn't stop there.
What MD didn't know, is that later that night, when Dallas and I were reunited with the interstate work colleagues for dinner, we systematically observed each dessert that was ordered, and interrogated it's orderer:

"Mark, is that a tart you ordered? Can you tell me, is it a sweet tart, or is it a tart tart?"

"Johnno, I do believe they are profiteroles - was there a reason in ordering such extravagance? And do you prefer fresh, or whipped cream?"

We thought we were hilarious! Our colleagues perhaps thought we were a little strange (or drunk)...

The evening progressed, and with a few more wines consumed, The Cookie Monster proposed to take me back to his hotel room. Deciding that I was full on cookies, and that cake was not in my best interests, I snuck in one last lingering kiss and left him adjusting his crotch on the corner of Flinders and King St's.

The next day at training I was receiving the look of death from The Cookie Monster. Needless to say, there was no more childish kissing to be had, and he left at the end of the day to spend his last night in Melbourne with his sister. Feeling a little guilty that perhaps I had lead him on, and we weren't on the same page, I thought an explanatory text message was in order:

"Sorry I didn't want cake, I was quite content with cookies. I guess your appetite is bigger than mine right now...."

To which he replied: "WTF are you talking about?!?"

So anyway, this use of euphemisms got me thinking: Could we invent a new language that coded words in baked goods alone? Or would we need to introduce fruit and vegetables or other produce to complete the picture?

I only really thought about this because I was later questioning my decision not to take the cake. I decided that it was because what I really wanted, was my favourite spongecake that was recently discontinued at my local bakery......and I could surely talk about his buns and cookie dough 'till the cows come home....

To finish up, you will be pleased to know that I did have quite a raunchy dream about The Cookie Monster the following week. Unfortunately, work etiquette made me feel it not such a good idea to divulge such intimate information to him over the work email, so all I mentioned to him was "a dream with you in it". He demanded more information:

"Let's just say, I had my cake, and ate it too".

Apparently I am now officially a tease. And, I think he has now figured out what cake is.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Yup...I went there....

I kissed a work colleague....and I liked it.
Of course, I open this post in such a way as this will be of great shock value to MD and Al.
I have been away from the office this week, attending a training session for work (which will make this even more infuriating for MD and Al as they cannot debrief with me - though I'm sure to expect an "Emergency Meeting" request for next week through my Blackberry the moment I hit "post" on this). This training also incorporates all the other people at the organisation who do what I do at work, but in other states (STS). It is the fact that this person lives outside of Melbourne that I use to justify not one, but two nights of childish pashing (and the anticipation of another two before he boards the plane home). Surely it's OK to pash a guy you technically work with, if he lives interstate?
It's not that it's serious - just an ego boost really. I'm only a recent recruit to the single life, so I use the great advice of people in the know about relationships...namely Sally (as in, When Harry Met Sally) who quite rightly says: "He's supposed to be the transitional man, he's not supposed to be the one". And although the context is different, I figure I can use that to my advantage. Isn't it a good idea to get the transitional guy out of the way so that you can make room for the one?
Maybe it's even simpler than that. As Dallas said to me tonight: "do you just need some cake"?