Monday, February 16, 2009

You can quote me on that!

Quite often MD, Al and I are together, and someone says something stupidly funny. Sometimes it's also stupidly rude, so we agree it's out of bounds for the bloggisphere. Sometimes it's not just funny, but it makes you think: "Could that be true?"
Either way, more often than not, we chorus together: "I'm blogging about that one!"

So, here are a few I thought could be opened up for discussion and comment:

MD: As most of you know, MD is off on a trip to Sweden shortly. When I asked her recently why she had cut down on the wine, started eating way too much salad, and begun getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning to exercise, she simply said: "Because Deb, you can't be fat in Sweden". Being that MD is far from fat, I really do wonder if there is anyone under a size 8 in Sweden. I mean, does she really have a point?

Al: After spending the day at his local drinking establishment in the upper end of town, Al came to work complaining how it had been taken over by gay men. I reckon I have a pretty good gaydar, and (obviously) Al is gay, however, I still naively asked him how he knew everyone there was gay. His response: "Because Deb, every one of them owns an Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt, G-Star jeans and Prada sunglasses". Can this be true?

Then there is another friend of mine who recently said to me (about my ex Jack): "Sometimes his head is so big, he can't get it through the car door". Seriously, did she make that up, or have any of you heard that before?

And here is one I thought was common, but apparently my family made it up. When something fits really well (like when tightly squeezing a piece of furniture into an alcove and it has no room to spare on either side) I would say: "Fits like a bum in a bucket".

So, the list could go on, but I ask you my good friends, what are your quotes?


Andrew said...

Al has just predicted what every straight metrosexual guy will be wearing this coming year.

Heard all the sayings before. One of my father's workers used to say if it was big, fitted like a bum in a bucket, if small, fitted like a finger in a bum.

My favourite saying is 'oh', in response to any holiday destination, new furniture, appliance, car, boy/girl friend etc etc.

Anonymous said...

Gaydar? I thought they only existed in the eighties.

Brian Hughes said...

My favourite quote of the moment: "If he'd only wash his neck, I'd gladly wring it for him." Can't remember who said it now, but I'm trying to squeeze it into a conversation somewhere and pretend it was one of mine.

Jayne said...

LOL @ Andrew re Al's predictions!

Yep I've heard those sayings, too.
Some of my favs are -
head like a robbers dog, vague as a violet, tighter than a fish's bum, and the one I save for when we bump into the In Laws - the things you see when you haven't got a gun ;)

Anonymous said...

It's true, you can't be fat in Sweden! I met some Swedes last night and they all looked like they'd stepped from the pages of a H & M catalogue.

Deb said...

Andrew - you are probably right, I swear every 20 something male I see these days has one of those damn t-shirts!
Rueben - Possibly they did, but I am into retro
Brian - I love it! I only hope I remember it (I'll let you know if I get to use it successfully)
Jayne - You have a good collection of quotes!
MD - It may be true, but need I remind you? You are not Swedish.

Anonymous said...

Another golden one I've heard is 'Off like grandma's undies'. Think about it.

I can hear Al's moans of disgust already...

PI said...

Small hat on big head - a pea on a drum - otherwise my mind's gone blank- so what's new?
Now what's this about Grandma's undies?

Anonymous said...

I am still chuckling at getting up at 'stupid o'clock'. Ha!